


Steven goes to Hogwarts

by DoritoDew



Series: bullshit i pull out of my ass [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:00:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoritoDew/pseuds/DoritoDew
Summary: Pearl is angry at Steven's vile similarities to her one and only love Rose, so she sends him and Amethyst to Hogwarts so their foul inanity will stop plaguing her pitiful, flat chested life. Meanwhile, Garnet searches for a rogue gem.





	Steven goes to Hogwarts

One day, in the far-right cuckservative town of Beach City, Steven was on his bed, using his laptop. He was watching Family Guy funny moments #420.

"Haha! It's funny because it's Family Guy!" Steven said when Amethyst walked in. "Ew, why are you watching that faggot show? Everyone knows the Office is the one true adult show!" Amethyst said while squeezing her fat purple boobies to Call of Duty wallpapers on her cellphone. "Amethyst, stop being so fucking fat!" Steven said before eating five whole together breakfasts in one bite each. Amethyst decided to manipulate his emotions by crying. "Oh Amethyst, I'm sorry." Steven said, comforting Amethyst by hugging her. Pearl was watching this. "Steven! Why must your nigger self always have to be like my one and only Rose, you copycat!" Pearl yelled. "So what? It's not like you can copyright me." Steven said, still hugging Amethyst. "Oh, but I can, because I am secretly... THE VIACOM CEO!!!!!!!!!!" Pearl said, ripping off her outfit to reveal a fine tuxedo. She looked exactly how she did in Mr. Greg, but the tux was blue instead of black.

"Oh no! Steven, we have to escape before she copyright claims us!" the beautiful purple gem told him. They ran to the door, but before they could open it, a spear thing was lodged into Pearl's gem. The two half-pints looked back. No one seemed to be there except Pearl's sexy gem with a yellow and black spear. Pearl then regenerated and took the spear out. "Well, since you can't copyright living beings, I guess I just have to send you two away." Pearl said. She was back in her dress outfit, but there were some differences. The shirt part had sleeves and the dress part was normal blue. "But Pearl, where would you take us?" Steven inquired. "*sigh* Come with me." Pearl said. The three went outside to Pearl's personal helicopter. They got in and Pearl flew them to Scotland, where they landed next to a subway. Pearl then took the two small gems into a pillar, where they telported to another location. She threw them into the train and walked out. "Those two had Hogwarts acceptance letters, anyway." Pearl said.

Meanwhile, Garnet was walking through the Forbidden Forest, trying to look for a gem called Zircon that had recently been terrorizing people in the United Kingdom. However, she stumbled across an Acromantula family. One tried to stab her, but she dodged. Another one did the same thing, but Garnet grabbed his/her arm and threw it into the deeper parts of the forest. This caused the other spider things to run off before they get killed. A smug smile crept upon the bodacious and beautiful red gem as she continued on to Hogwarts.

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think so far?


End file.
